The Humans Are Dead

It's quite clear that the Japanese are trying to kill us all. We thought they were among the least threatening of modern day nations, having recently turned away from warlike impulses and instead devoted themselves to Hello Kitty and fuel-efficient motorcycles. But clearly it has all been an act. Beneath the non-threatening exterior, the Japanese nation as a whole is clearly devoting itself to killing off humans altogether.

That’s a harsh judgment, you might say. Well, just take a look at videos like this one:

Now, building robots for carrying out heavy work or vacuuming rooms is one thing. This robot, though, apparently has no other purpose other than to get people to approach it saying something like “What is that? Some sort of freaky alien experiment?” and then quickly kill them while laughing and staring with its cold, dead eyes. It serves no function other than to look like something out of a dystopian horror movie. Apparently, the evil robot is meant to imitate a one-to-two-year-old baby in terms of movement and vocalizations. And yet it’s four foot tall. Clearly they’re building up to the toddler model, which will stand at nine feet and throw tantrums in which is rips apart human beings like they were dolls.

So why are the Japanese doing this? Do they expect to be accepted as the new robot masters? Are they hoping the robots will kill them last? Do they simply want giant killer robots to help them fight against their ultimate enemy, the whales? The answer will not be clear until the robot takeover.

For now though, there is this shirt, based on the Flight of the Conchords song of the same theme. Clearly, these guys know what is coming.