So, you're planning to attend Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity on Oct 30. Go you! Before you head out, here are a few pointers for those of you who haven't attended rallies before:
1. Don't sing any of those protest songs or chants, no matter how clever you think they are. Yes, this still applies no matter how many clever phrases you came up with to rhyme with 'boobies'.
2. Make sure you spell-check your sign carefully. Nobody wants to be this guy:
3. Unless it is your deliberate intention to do otherwise, make sure your sign makes sense. Once again, you don't want to be this person. You might want to try checking with a friend. Make a note of whether their response is "Oh, I see your point," or "Wait, what? Jersey girls? Debt? Fidel Castro?"
4. If you're among those who think that protesting always includes clashing with police in riot gear, you might want to consider staying home and just beating yourself up instead. Nobody likes the guy who wants to clash with police in riot gear. He's like the dude who crashes your birthday party and then starts taking dares about how many of your live pet goldfish he can swallow.
5. Try not to compare anyone to Hitler. Yes, that includes drawing those mustaches on people. Try to be a bit more creative in your hyperbole and use someone different, like Stalin, or Vlad the Impaler.
6. Wear one of our t-shirts! We have a wide range of shirts for all of your protest needs. Whether it's Faux News, Jesus ponies:
...endorsement of the controversial Palin/Voldemort presidential campaign, or the most profound question of all:
... we have the shirts for you! On October 30, express yourself with one of our fine t-shirts. Especially this one: